CHEATING SPOUSES

Investigating a cheating spouse is a delicate matter. There are various important variables that need to be considered before to assist in the odds of getting the proof you are seeking and to ensure that what the investigator discovers is going to meet your needs.

Decision Time: Are you being betrayed by your mate/partner? Wouldn’t you like to have the necessary proof to put your suspicions to rest once and for all? If so, PDA will assist you in gaining peace of mind. We will travel together through a quest for evidence which will undoubtedly yield a greater acceptance of reality and, consequently, a deeper sense of peace. This decision will be something that will guide you for the rest of your life in finding your peace of mind. Maya & Maya, Inc. advises that it is simply not a good idea to collect the evidence yourself and try to do it on your own. Let professionals do the job so that you have rock-solid evidence in court. In other words, hire a private investigator.

Divorce and the Hiring of an Attorney:
Winning custody today is nearly impossible. A courtroom is no place for the weak at heart and poor planner. Will you fail to plan? If so plan to fail. A private investigator can offer a real solution to strategy for winning. Here’s what to consider in your day in court.

Discovering an affair in your relationship is hard enough, but that’s just the beginning of what you will face. A family court ruling will be rendered either for or against you and your children. A judge will decide for you based on the evidence, who is the best custodial parent. If your state considers infidelity grounds for divorce, proof is essential! If you are party to a legal action, your observations, discoveries, and testimony are already tainted with bias. This article will give a few insights to consider. I’ve identified 5 key reasons you should hire an investigator and in a few words examined the reasons why. Florida is a no fault state but no reason to worry Cheating does count because in many cases affairs have been going on for months and even years. If the investigation can prove not only the cheating, but that your spouse has been spending money and lavish gifts then you are entitled to 50% of all the deviation of funds from the marital estate. Daniel L. Maya, CFE has seen from experience that the cheater in many cases spends vacations called “business trips” and spends thousands of dollars with the other person. This is money that could go to you the cheating victim. As a result, it is in the best interest to hire a professional and look at not only the obvious but the total picture which could impact your bottom line settlement.

Understanding What to Do: So what should you do if you suspect your partner is cheating on you? I know, I know, you’re tired of the same old answers, the same song and dance. Hire an investigator, check his phone calls, computer investigation, blah, blah, blah. The list of can do’s can go on and on and on. Well, I am going to tell you what you shouldn’t do. Do not confront your partner about cheating without having any proof. A cheater is a liar, always. They will deny and lie till they’re blue in the face. You better have your ducks in a row before calling them out, or you’ll find yourself going crazy from the twisting and manipulation of half truths, stories, and lies. Make sure you have enough proof. What is enough? Well that is dependent on your situation and relationship. For some people enough proof is a list of phone calls or a suspicious e-mail. For many people proof needs to physically see their partner with someone else before they can get past their denial and put an end to their partner’s lies. I always say, video never lies…it is what it is….

Time is of the Essence: Depending on the length of an affair, your spouse may end it without ample opportunity for you to document it. On average affairs last six months to a year and then end without your knowledge. However, in some cases, your spouse will divorce you the mistress. So waiting to prove your case may be too late. Don’t let the opportunity escape you.

The Right Evidence: If you need enough proof to bring into a court of law and present to a judge, then I would suggest hiring a professional investigator. A knowledgeable investigator who specializes in matrimonial cases will know what evidence is needed, and more importantly what evidence is admissible in court. Please realize there is a definite distinction between evidence for your own peace of mind and evidence that can be presented in front of a judge. A list of suspicious phone calls may be all the evidence you need, but it is probably not enough evidence to present to a judge. Video documentation of an affair is. Also keep in mind that not all evidence may be admissible. Computer forensic investigation made on a hard drive which uncovers old & deleted information (such as e-mail) is admissible in a court of law.

If you are unsure about your particular situation, contact a family lawyer or consult a professional investigator. Most private investigators use digital cameras and a set number of other necessary equipment. At Maya & Maya, Inc. We pride ourselves in utilizing the best equipment in the market to gibe you the best possible outcome. Time and time again I see a possible client use an investigator that’s somewhat cheaper only to call a few weeks later and request we fix a situation that has been created by an inexperienced and unprepared investigative agency. As a result, use a professional and be wise in your choice.

A wrong choice could find yourself seated in a courtroom with two opposing attorneys which is the wrong time to realize how unprepared your are. You will need testimony form others. Friends can offer some degree of support for your case. They may hold up under cross examination. If your witness list only includes family and friends, be prepared for a frightful revelation. Even though they are trustworthy try convincing a court system. You are fighting a losing battle. Their innate bias and testimony bear little weight in the final assessment. Are you confident your witness’ testimony will have credibility? Do they possess the experience your need? After all, you have one chance in most family courtrooms. What if your witness is caught in a lie? You’re finished! A judge will rule against you for bringing in someone who is not forthright. Court testimony is enormously helpful, it often decides legal cases. My testimony has always made a positive difference. If your investigator obtains evidence for your case, use it to your family’s advantage. Your kids may just have to visit as an alternative to dwelling with you.

Common Signs of Spousal Infidelity:
1 – When they no longer want sex or makes excuses to not have sex.
2 – When they will not allow you access to their computer or they suddenly shut down the computer when you walk into the room. They may password protect their laptop or computer to keep out suspicious eyes. Or they stay up to “work” or “play a game” on the computer after you go to bed. Excessive internet usage, especially late at night, is a red flag.

3 – When they begin to put distance between you or show a lack of interest in what has been the routine with few, if any, excuses for the change in their behavior.

4 – When they suddenly have to work late and have all kinds of new obligations that take then away from home repeatedly or for long periods of time. Or….. they tell you they are working longer hours and discontinue allowing you to view they paycheck or pay stubs.

5 – If your loved one works with people, such as at a bar or restaurant especially as a waitress or bartender they might suddenly tell you not to visit them at work. This usually means they are hiding something at their workplace whether it be with a co-worker or a regular customer such as at a bar.

6 – When they suddenly need a cell phone or pager and you are discouraged from ever looking at it or using it. They also may make certain their cell phone or pager cannot be answered by you by hiding or taking it with them whenever they go. They are secretive about their cell phone or pager bill and pay it themselves when you have always paid the bill in the past.

7 – When they arrive home smelling faintly or perfume/cologne or another person’s body.
8 – When they arrive home and head straight into the shower or bath.
9 – When they have lipstick or strange hairs on their clothing or in the car. Finding strange phone numbers, receipts or condoms can also be clues.

10 – When they suddenly begin to treat you extremely nice, more so than usual.
11 = When they begin to make "kinky" requests or suggest wildly erotic play during sex including things you have never done before. They may also show an increased interest in sex or sexual things, including porn.

12 – When they talk to you they treat you abusively or with disdain, disrespect or excessive sarcasm. They may also demonstrate an unexplained aloofness or indifference in the relationship. Or…. They may begin to find fault in everything you do in an attempt to justify their affair.

13 – Her: When she gets spiffed up and dresses provocative to "go grocery shopping" or to "get her hair done." She may also show up with a sudden change of hair style. Him: When he showers, shaves (cologne, deodorant, etc.) and dresses up more than usual to "go out with buddies" or to "go fishing."

14 – When they break their established routine at work and home for no apparent or logical reason.

15 – When they become suddenly forgetful and you have to tell him/her everything several times; their thoughts are obviously elsewhere.

16 – When they are always tired or demonstrate a noticeable lack of energy or interest in the relationship.

17 – When they begin to intentionally look at or flirt with the opposite sex when in the past, this is something they would not have done.

18 – When you notice that they are reluctant to kiss you or accept your affection.
19 – When they ignore or criticize you affections and thoughtful ways. Example: "Why are you so luvy duvy? I’m just not like that."

20 – When your phone bill shows an increase in unexplained toll or long distance charges. Often when a partner is acting too close or flirting with a best friend of the opposite sex, you will find their phone number listed excessively.

21 – When the passenger seat in the car has been changed and is not in the usual position or the mileage on the car is more than usual. Also increased gas purchases what are inconsistent with the amount of miles on the car.

22 – When they begin to keep a change of clothes hidden in the trunk of the car or an unusual amount of clothes changes at the gym.

23 – When you notice credit card charges for gifts (such as florist or jewelry) that you didn’t receive.

24 – When they begin to make sudden and excessive purchases of clothes or an unexplained change in clothing style. Beginning to purchase sexy underwear or lingerie may be a clue.

25 - When you notice an increase in ATM withdrawals. Cheating costs money! To play you must pay.

26 – When you notice that your partner loses their ability and desire to show the children the attention they need or lack of desire to do any fix-ups around the house, e.g., lawn care, painting, cleaning the garage, house repairs, etc. They might turn this around on you at the same time and accuse you of never doing anything or treating the child/children badly.

27 – When you notice an increased attention to losing weight or paying more attention to their appearance.

28 – When they begin to volunteer to go to the post office, rushes to check the mail before you do or opens up a new P.O. Box perhaps without even telling you.

29 – When your partner shows up without their weeding ring or suddenly stops wearing it and makes lame excuses as to why. This also goes for jewelry you might have purchased for them and you catch them not wearing it when they go out when usually they wear it at all times.

30- When they get mysterious phone calls or when they hurry to answer the phone, leave the room to talk on the phone and when you ask who called, they say, "No one", "Wrong number", or Why do you care?"

31 – Simple trips, such as to the grocery store or bank, take hours rather than the time it should take.

32 – Your loved one suddenly deletes all emails from the computer where as they used to accumulate. Same goes for calls on the cell phone or caller ID.

33 – Your loved one seems to pick fights or finds reasons to fight only to stomp out of the house and away from you.

34 – You find a diaphragm, condom, birth control, etc., however, you have had either a vasectomy or she has had a tubal ligation.

Think you may be facing infidelity or adultery?

Contact the matrimony private investigators who specialize in getting you proof. You do not need to live in fear and stress. Call PDA today and speak with one of our investigators. The call is confidential.

Office (305) 642-6003
Fax (305) 254-0335
Toll Free (888) 262-4482

info@pda.com
24 hour duty phone (305) 642-6003